


from this moment (you are the one)

by jeyhawk



Series: From This Moment [2]
Category: American Idol RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-26
Updated: 2010-03-26
Packaged: 2017-10-11 18:02:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/115304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeyhawk/pseuds/jeyhawk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To save his family's winery Kris accepts a surprise proposal from an old friend. Contemporary Arranged Marriage fic, just go with the flow, okay?</p>
            </blockquote>





	from this moment (you are the one)

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [](http://kristina-bitch.livejournal.com/profile)[**kristina_bitch**](http://kristina-bitch.livejournal.com/) who asked _nothing_ for over at the [](http://community.livejournal.com/ontd_ai/profile)[**ontd_ai**](http://community.livejournal.com/ontd_ai/) charity drive to benefit [The Houston Area Women's Center.](http://www.hawc.org) This is what happens when you don't leave me a prompt. I write 14k of arranged marriage fic and then force it on you on a whim. :P

  
Kris is having a bad day on top of a really shitty year and the last person he expects to see when he pulls up to Allen Winery is Adam Lambert, but there he is, sitting on the front steps with his long legs stretched out in front of him and his face tilted up towards the sun. Kris hasn't seen him in over a year, not since Kris had dropped out of American Idol, and it's been six months since he'd stopped returning Adam's calls.

Kris figured Adam would confront him about it eventually, but he couldn't have picked a worse day if he'd actually tried. Kris had spent all morning in an uncomfortable meeting with the bank only to be told what he already knew - they're all out of options and only a miracle will save Allen Winery from foreclosure at the end of the month. And now he has to go inside and tell his family that the winery that has been in the family for generations will very soon be the property of the bank, except there's a rockstar between him and the front door.

Kris parks his pickup next to the shiny black Mustang that must belong to Adam and slides the key out of the ignition. It would be a lie to say that he hasn't missed Adam. He'd kept up with Adam's skyrocketing career after winning American Idol as well as he could, but seeing him in person again is weirdly unsettling.

So much has happened since they'd last seen each other that Kris doubts that the instant connection they'd shared on Idol, the one the fans quickly dubbed Kradam, is still there, and somehow that adds another stone to the weight on his chest. Adam had gone on to live his dream, _their_ dream, and Kris had been sucked back to the winery and his family, and while he doesn't regret his decision it kind of doesn't seem worth it right now when they're going to lose Allen Winery anyway.

"Hello there stranger," Adam says, when Kris finally finds the guts to exit the car, and he pushes himself up from the stairs, stretching his lanky frame out.

"Hi," Kris responds, trying but failing not to stare.

He'd forgotten how tall Adam was, and he seems even taller now with all the weight he lost. Everything about him is different, yet exactly the same, and Kris's heart makes a few confused summersaults. He never did know what to feel around Adam.

"So… uhm…" Kris says, licking his lips nervously. "What are you doing here?"

The sun slants over Adam's face illuminating his wicked smile. "Actually," Adam says, "I thought I'd ask you to marry me."

Kris drops his car keys with the shock, twitching when they thud against the gravel. "Seriously?" he asks voice too high-pitched, even though he's almost certain Adam's joking.

"Yeah," Adam says, still grinning in the same unsettling way. "Seriously. I'll get down on one knee if you want me to."

Kris doesn't even know what to say. Adam looks slightly deranged with the way he smiles, but he doesn't seem to be joking. At the back of Kris's mind a tiny niggling little voice informs him that marrying Adam would mean the end to their financial problems and he promptly blushes almost crimson just for thinking it.

"Okay," Adam says. "That might have been a bit abrupt. Just hear me out, okay?"

"Okay," Kris says weakly, crouching down to pick up his keys just so he won't have to look at Adam.

"Why don't you show me around while we talk?" Adam says. "This place looks amazing."

"Yeah," Kris mumbles, giving Adam a glance. "It is."

If nothing else, giving Adam a tour will put off the inevitable for a few more minutes. It's not as if Kris is in a hurry to disappoint his whole family. Kris takes Adam around the house towards the vineyard, hyper aware of the hand Adam puts between his shoulder blades, and he dutifully points out the interesting things along the way, such as the press, fermentation vats, laboratory, bottling line, and tasting room.

"I'd become an alcoholic in a heartbeat if I had access to all this wine," Adam says, when Kris lets him look into one of the caves, the air inside cool and musty.

Kris shrugs. "I've been surrounded by wine my entire life," he says. "It's not something I drink to get drunk."

"Huh?" Adam says, still staring at the rows and rows of bottles. "Then what do you drink to get drunk?"

"Scotch," Kris says. "And lots of it." He kind of needs a stiff drink right now, actually, but he promised himself once that he wouldn't ever drink to bury his problems and so far he's never broken that promise.

They continue the tour and while Adam asks a hundred questions, he doesn't actually mention the whole proposal thing again until Kris is about dying of curiosity. He knows, of course, that Adam's private life has been a subject of intense scrutiny in the gossip rags, and one scandal has been following another lately, ranging from naked photos of a much younger Adam leaking on the internet to ex-boyfriends selling their tell-all stories to the tabloids. Getting married kind of makes sense - if nothing else it would probably take the focus off Adam's private life for the time being - but getting married to Kris really doesn't, at least not in any way that Kris can comprehend.

"Okay," Adam says, when they sit down on a bench overlooking the vineyard with even rows of carefully kept grape vines stretching out before them. "I bet you're wondering why I asked you to marry me."

"You could say that," Kris says, kicking up dust with the toe of one of his sneakers. Inanely he thinks they're the same sneakers he wore the last time he saw Adam, scuffed white converse hi-tops.

"As I see it we're both in need of a miracle right now. You need money to save all of this." Adam makes a sweeping gesture with his hand. "And I need to get married or my record company will drop me like a hot potato."

"Really?" Kris asks with a frown. It's pretty much impossible to turn on the radio without hearing an Adam Lambert song these days and Adam's album sales are off the charts.

"Yeah, well…" Adam scuffs his toes against the ground, covering his snakeskin boots (the same ones he wore the last time Kris saw him) and the lower edges of his skinny black jeans with clingy grey dust. "American Idol is a family-friendly show and the news about me lately isn't very family friendly. The record company's been great so far, but they have to draw the line somewhere and either I clean up my act or they drop me."

"Why me?" Kris asks, giving Adam a curious look.

They'd hit it off like wildfire during Kris's time on American Idol, their souls connecting through music and a shared sense of humor, but it was never a question of romance. Kris was still engaged to Katy at the time and despite telling Rolling Stone he had a crush on Kris, Adam never gave the impression that is was more than friendship to him either.

"Well," Adam says with a soft smile. "I like you, and even better, I trust you to not screw me over. Kissing and telling has been kind of a trend lately."

"Kissing," Kris repeats dumbly, because somehow he thought Adam was offering a marriage of convenience only.

Adam slants him a look and another wicked smile. "Oh believe me, honey, a sexless marriage was not what I had in mind. If you say yes and we do this, then it's for real."

Kris blinks and licks his lips reflexively. "I… uh… "

"You don't have to answer right now," Adam says, patting Kris's knee. "Just think about it, okay?"

"Uhm… yeah," Kris says, swallowing thickly. "I will." He highly doubts he will be able to stop thinking about it even if he wants to.

*

  
Everyone, from Kris's dad to his ex-fiancée, tells Kris he's insane for even considering it, but Kris can't stop thinking about Adam's offer. Maybe he doesn't really know Adam all that well and maybe marrying him will put Kris rather uncomfortably in Adam's debt, but it will save the winery and it's not like Kris is completely opposed to the idea of having sex with Adam.

Kris had always figured he wasn't exactly one hundred percent straight - in fact he wonders if such a thing even exists - and Adam's not the first man Kris has had confused feelings about. There was never anything romantic about their interactions during their time on Idol, or after, but it's not like Kris never thought about it. Adam has his own force field and it's practically impossible not to think about having sex with him when you see him perform - sexuality is such a large part of his stage persona.

For a week he goes back and forth between yes and no, changing his mind about three times a day. The thing is that when he thinks about turning Adam down, he feels as if he's making a huge mistake, but when he thinks about saying yes, he's scared shitless…but it doesn't feel wrong. His brother says it's probably because saying yes would save the winery, but Kris doesn't think that's the whole story.

He and Adam had just clicked from the first moment they met, and when Kris stopped returning Adam's calls it had nothing to do with jealousy, or resentment. It was simply because he didn't want to suck even a moment of joy out of Adam's life with his own misery. If he's honest with himself there was more than one night after things got difficult with Katy that he considered calling Adam and asking to meet just to get one of Adam's full body hugs, but he always stopped himself because he didn't want to be that guy and because he kind of thought that maybe Adam had moved on from their friendship once he stopped pushing.

Kris had given himself a week to think, but when he wakes up, way too early, on the morning of his last day, he still doesn't have an answer. He pulls on boxers and a t-shirt and heads to the kitchen to make himself some coffee only to find his mom already there.

"Morning, sweetie," she says without turning around when Kris enters, even though Kris can swear his bare feet didn't make a sound against the tiles. "Want some coffee?"

"Yeah," he says, gratefully accepting the cup when she holds it out. "What are you doing up?"

She smiles at him, reaching out to ruffle his hair. "I figured you'd be up early so I thought I'd be sneaky to get a chance to talk to you alone."

"Oh." He flushes slightly and sips from his cup. His mom is the only one that has yet to give her input on the situation. He thought that meant she wanted him to make up his own mind, but now he realizes she was just waiting for the time when her opinion would have most impact. He's got to give it to her, when it comes to mothering she surely has no rival in the known universe.

"Come, let's go outside," she says nodding towards the patio doors.

Kris follows her with a vague sense of trepidation. The thing about his mother is that she gives excellent advice, even if it's not at all what you want to hear. She was the one who told him to wait to get married until after Idol, and as much as he loathed it at the time, she was right. Even with him dropping out, he and Katy hadn't made it, and he thinks that in her mysterious mother way she'd known they wouldn't last.

"Did you make up your mind yet?" she asks when they're seated in the hammock, swinging gently back and forth.

Kris shakes his head and sips at his coffee. He still isn't sure. She sighs and pats his knee.

"I'm not going to tell you what to do," she says softly. "I think you need to figure this one out on your own. I just wanted to tell you that it's okay to want it."

Kris blinks, turning his head to look at her.

"I know you," she says softly. "You'll always be my baby and I think that a large part of your struggle right now is the thought of what people might think when they find out you actually want it."

Kris flushes and looks down into his cup. "I like him," he says weakly. "I mean… I don't know if this is a good idea but…"

He trails off - it's almost impossible to explain the weird churn of emotions he experiences when Adam is near, because he doesn't understand them himself.

"Music was always such a huge part of your life," she says, running a hand through his hair. "But until this last week I haven't seen you touch your guitar in a year. I missed that part of you and if Adam brings music back into your life, then maybe he's the one you need to be with."

"I think that counts as telling me what to do," Kris says, slanting her a look.

She laughs. "And I thought I was being so sneaky."

He puts his head down on her shoulder and sighs. "I just don't know if I want my life all over the tabloids," he says. "You know they'll make this into a huge _thing_."

"A marriage is a huge thing dear," she says. "Besides, if you ever want to be a recording artist in your own right then you'd better get used to it."

Kris smiles and rubs his cheeks against the soft cotton of her shirt. She smells just right, like cinnamon and apples and lazy summer days.

"I'm going to say yes," he whispers.

"I knew you would, baby," she answers, patting his back. "I knew you would."

*

  
Kris sends Adam a text, he's too chicken to call in case Adam changed his mind, but despite it still being too fricking early in the morning, Adam calls within two minutes.

"Really?" he asks, sounding shell-shocked and ecstatic at the same time. "Really? You'll marry me?"

Kris laughs, and his stomach flutters weirdly. "Yeah, you loon. I dipped my fries in crazy sauce, okay? Let's do this."

Adam laughs too, obviously delighted, and Kris can almost see him before his inner eye. Adam has a great laugh.

"Okay," he says. "Okay, okay… So wow, uhm… fuck. I thought for sure you'd tell me to fuck off."

Kris snorts. "Yeah, well…" he says, "I guess you're stuck with me now."

It feels weird to say it out loud and he experiences a sudden case of vertigo that could be the start of a panic attack, but he's not exactly scared.

"I'll be good to you," Adam says, suddenly serious, as if he can sense Kris's discomfort. "I'll make it work."

"I believe you," Kris whispers, and strangely enough he does.

If someone had told him two weeks ago that he would be getting married to a man, Kris would most likely have told them to fuck off, but right now it doesn't seem so weird. There was always something boundary-breaking about his friendship with Adam and maybe, if Kris hadn't dropped out of Idol and then cut their ties, it would have grown into something more a lot earlier.

"There's so much to _plan_ ," Adam says and he sounds way too happy about it. "We need a wedding planner, and a location and _clothes_ and oh my God where do you want to go for our honeymoon?"

"I… uh…"

"How about Greece? One of the islands? I don't think too many people there have heard of me yet." Adam laughs. "We'll talk about it later, okay? Oh and do you have a preference for a date? I'll be out of town for the next two weeks doing some international promo, but we'd better get this show on the road if we want to get married before next year. "

Kris's head is buzzing and he flails a little trying to come up with a proper response to Adam's flow of words, but luckily Adam doesn't really seem to need his input. He just goes on and on about flowers and clothes and bridesmaids and groomsmen in a way that makes Kris think he's put a lot of thought into this.

"Oh," Adam says, sobering suddenly. "How are you doing… uhm… financially? Is there something that needs to be taken care of right now?"

Adam sounds kind of embarrassed to even be asking and Kris flushes, staring down at his bare feet on the floorboards.

"No, we're… uhm… we're good right now." They won't be for long, but Kris can't bring himself to say it. "I'll… uhm… I'll talk to the bank again."

The thing is that Kris might not even need Adam's money. The promise of a financially stable backer will probably be enough to give them the respite they need. The winery itself is producing well and they will have money coming in eventually, it's just been a really shitty year of bad timing, and unnecessary costs with his dad's medical bills to top it all off, and much like Adam's record company, the bank felt like they had to draw the line somewhere. They've been more than forthcoming for the last few months, but they're a business and at the end of the day it's all about money.

"Yeah, okay…" Adam hesitates for a moment. "Just… if you need anything tell me okay? It's not a big deal. I couldn't care less about the money."

Kris wonders what Adam would have said if Kris had turned him down and then asked for a loan. Somehow he thinks that Adam would have given him the money anyway and suddenly the whole marriage deal makes even less sense. Not that Kris is going to back down now, but it's food for thought.

"So when are you leaving and when do you come back?" Kris asks, because he kind of thought he'd get to see Adam again soon and maybe, just maybe, he was looking forward to it.

"Tomorrow morning, but if it's okay with you, I'll come by this afternoon."

"Yeah," Kris says relieved. "Yeah, that's okay."

"I thought… Well, my friend Jade is a wedding planner. She has her own business and I thought that maybe if it's okay with you that she could plan it. She just started and she could really use a high profile client to get the business rolling, but if you have someone else that's fine too."

"No," Kris says, rolling his eyes at the thought that he'd have a wedding planner lined up. "Sounds good to me."

"Great. I'll bring her along then."

"Okay," Kris says, squashing down the tiny pinprick of disappointment. They're about to get married, he's sure he'll have plenty of alone time with Adam in the future. "Will you be staying for dinner?"

"If you want me to," Adam says, sounding a bit tense all of a sudden.

"You don't have to if you've got things to do before you leave… I just thought that maybe you'd like to meet my family again."

"Of course," Adam says, way too fast and Kris smiles, suddenly realizing Adam's nervous. Serves him right, he's been far too composed about this thing.

"See you later then," Kris says cheerfully. "Dinner's around seven."

"Yeah… Okay. See you." Adam sounds nauseous and Kris can't stop grinning. Maybe it's incredibly mean of him, but he wants Adam to be nervous. It puts them on more even footing.

*

  
Jade doesn't look anything like Kris imagined a wedding planner would look like, but she does look very much like one of Adam's friends, and that's really all the qualification she needs in Kris's book. She's tall, taller than Kris anyway, and brightly colored tattoos climb up both of her bare arms. She's wearing a white tank top, baggy jeans and flip flops and her rainbow colored dreads are pulled back into a messy ponytail, but the card she gives Kris looks professional and the intimidating stack of folders and magazines she's carrying under her arm says she means business.

Kris is impressed and more than a little intimidated by her ability to take notes on her iPhone while walking and juggling her huge stack of things. Adam trails behind them with an amused look on his face while Kris tries to answer all her million and one questions about preferences. How is he supposed to know what he prefers? He's never gotten married before and some of the questions just don't make any sense.

Besides it's hard to focus with Adam so close, because whenever Kris looks at him he doesn't see a friend, or even a rockstar, he sees his future husband, and that's enough to make his heart stutter. After dumping all her things on the dining room table Jade demands a tour, and Kris gives her the same one he gave Adam a week ago, while Adam and Jade discuss venues in a way that makes Kris think they've talked about this before.

Every now and then one of them will ask him what he thinks, and he'll hem and haw and agree with whatever Adam's saying in the vaguest way possible. To his untrained ear all the venues on their approved list seem far too large and intimidating. He figured there'd be a certain amount of show involved in the proceedings, but do they really need a locale that seats two thousand people?

"We could always get married here," he says distractedly when they're walking back towards the house.

His parents and his grandparents before them all got married on the property, exchanging their vows underneath the great oak trees that sprawl towards the sky at the lower edge of the vineyard, and they've hosted other wedding parties as well, for friends of the family and distant relatives. Kris always thought he'd get married here, but that was before he said yes to Adam, of course. It takes him a moment to realize that he lost his companions and when he turns around he finds them staring at him as if he's grown a second head.

"It was just a suggestion," he says petulantly. He's one of the grooms, he should be allowed to make suggestions.

Adam tilts his head to the side and his eyes take on this soft edge that Kris would be sure he just imagined if Adam's voice hadn't been pitched to match them. "Do you want to get married here?" he asks.

Kris shrugs, breaking eye contact to look out over the estate. This is where he got his roots and if he's honest with himself this is where he wants to get married.

"I guess," he murmurs, flushing slightly. He's sure it doesn't mesh with whatever plans Adam and Jade have for the nuptials, but he also doesn't want to start the proceedings off with a lie. He looks up at Adam and Jade through his bangs to find Adam smiling at him and Jade looking around with a calculating look on her face.

"Okay," Adam says. "Then we'll get married here."

"Just like that?" Kris asks with a frown.

"You want to get married here," Adam says as if that explains everything and starts walking again, tugging Jade along by the arm.

"I… uh… thank you," Kris says when Adam catches up to him.

Adam just grins and slings an arm across Kris's shoulders, pulling him into Adam's side.

"I told you I'd make you happy," he says.

Kris doesn't recall Adam saying any such thing, but he appreciates the sentiment. He tangles his fingers in the back of Adam's t-shirt and allows himself to just be content. Maybe this will actually work out.

*

  
Jade leaves before dinner claiming she's got a previous engagement, so it's just Adam and Kris that sit down to dinner with Kris's family. Adam is quite obviously nervous, fidgeting with his napkin and bouncing his knee against Kris's under the table, but he answers all the questions directed his way with his usual easy charm.

Kris had told his dad and Daniel about his decision this morning, and while they weren't exactly happy about it, they didn't give him any grief either. He's kind of surprised about how much he wants them to like Adam and he can tell by the end of the night that at least Daniel has been completely won over by Adam's wit and his wild tales. It makes him happy because he would hate for things to get tense with his family over this.

After dinner Kris walks Adam out to his car and it's the first time they're alone together all day. The sun is setting, painting the sky a bright orange and Kris feels oddly nervous.

"You okay?" Adam asks, bumping their shoulders together and Kris shrugs.

"Just overwhelmed, I think," he answers.

Adam smiles and pulls his keys out of his pocket, resting a hand lightly on the roof of his car.

"It'll be okay," he says, twisting the long strands of the whip on his key chain around his fingers.

Kris looks up at him, captivated by the way the dying light illuminates Adam's face. He can't help but wonder what Adam's really getting out of this besides a concession to his record company. There must have been tons of other people Adam could have asked that would more than happily have taken Adam up on his offer.

"I… uh… I guess we'll talk while you're away?" Kris says, worrying at the hem of his shirt with nervous fingers.

"Of course," Adam says. "I have to warn you though, I suck at figuring out time zones so chances are I'll call you in the middle of the night."

"It's okay," Kris says. He figures that if they're to get married he'll have to get used to that sort of thing. The thought makes him feel warm inside and he reaches out to touch Adam's arm.

"I…" He cuts himself off, worrying at his lower lip. There are so many things he wants to say to Adam, but he doesn't even know how to begin. "I'm happy you asked me," he finally says, more than aware that his cheeks are turning pink.

Adam's smile makes the embarrassment worth it and when Adam reaches out to cup his face, Kris realizes this is what he's been waiting for all night. Adam bends forward slowly, obviously hesitant, and in the end it's Kris that locks their lips together, pushing himself up on his toes to reach, which ends with him crashing into Adam's chest caught off balance. Adam laughs, steadying Kris with his hands on Kris's shoulders.

"Easy," he says, smiling wide.

Kris would be affronted but then Adam bends down, kissing him again, and he forgets all about his bruised ego. Kris hasn't kissed a lot of people in his life, in fact he can count them on one hand with Katy being the most recent, and none of them even come close to Adam. It's overwhelming to be kissed with such determination, and Kris finds himself letting Adam take the lead without even meaning to.

Whenever he thought about this (and they were confused jumbled thoughts that never failed to make him blush even in the privacy of his own room) he figured that kissing another man would be weird, but it's really not at all. Adam's lips are more demanding than a woman's and the way he just takes charge is unfamiliar, but it isn't weird. It feels right.

Adam pulls back after one last lingering kiss with a soft smile on his face. "Was that okay?" he asks, and Kris nods in response because he doesn't trust his voice.

He's confused and turned on and a little scared, but somehow it feels good, as if this is exactly how he's supposed to be feeling. He reaches out to touch Adam's lips that are still slick with spit and slightly parted. He doesn't know why but the way Adam nips at his fingertip makes him shiver.

"I should go," Adam says, taking half a step back.

Kris follows, eyes focused on Adam's reddened lips.

"I have things to do."

Kris touches Adam's cheek, rubbing his thumb against the corner of Adam's mouth.

"I need to pack."

Kris moves his other hand to curl around Adam's shoulder, keeping him still.

"Uh… your dad is watching us from the front porch."

Kris whips his head around to find that Adam's telling the truth. His dad is watching them from the shadows by the front door and Kris's face heats up with embarrassment. He drops his hands from Adam's body and watches Adam's face drop with them. Adam masks it quickly with the flash of a smile and a head toss, but Kris still feels like shit.

"I'm sorry," he murmurs, ducking his head. "It's… I mean…"

"It's okay," Adam says quickly. "I understand."

Adam turns to open the car door, but Kris stops him with a hand to his arm. He doesn't know why, but it feels important to do this right.

"No," Kris says, nervous but determined. "It's not okay."

Adam turns back to him with a frown and Kris kisses him. It's just a quick peck on the lips but it's a statement and the way Adam smiles against his mouth makes it worth it.

"Have a good trip," Kris murmurs, hoping that the waning light hides his blush. "Call me."

"Believe me," Adam answers. "I will."

Adam squeezes his hand briefly and then he's opening the door and sliding into the car. Kris watches as Adam pulls out of the parking lot and he keeps on watching until Adam's car disappears out of sight before going back to the house. He thinks he needs to talk to his dad.

*

  
Kris finds his dad in the kitchen, loading the dishwasher with more clanging than is strictly necessary.

"Are you mad at me?" Kris asks, taking a seat at the table without looking at his dad.

The clanging continues uninterrupted and Kris sighs, scrubbing a hand over his face.

"I got close to Adam on Idol," he says. "Too close maybe, I don't know, and when things started getting difficult with Katy I thought that maybe Adam was a part of that."

The clanging stops, but Kris doesn't look up. He's never told anyone this, he's barely admitted it to himself, but maybe his dad needs to hear it.

"So I stopped returning his calls and I stopped answering his texts and even after I broke up with Katy I didn't initiate contact again, because I was afraid that if I did it would _mean_ something. Something about who I am and what I want that I wasn't quite ready to accept." Kris licks his lips, trying to find a way to formulate his thoughts that doesn't sound crass.

"You wanted him." The statement is tired, but not surprised, and Kris finally looks up to find his dad watching him, eyes dark and intense in the dim light.

"I…" Kris bites down on his lip. "Yes. Yes, I did. I didn't want to, but I did."

Neil nods, bracing his hands on the counter behind him. "And now?"

Kris flushes, looking down on his hands. He'd never imagined he would have to come out to his dad, especially not _after_ he agreed to marry another man. "I still do," he murmurs, the back of his neck heating up. "I love this place and I'd do just about anything to save it, but that's not why I said yes."

He jumps when a hand lands on his shoulder, and looks up to find his dad smiling at him. "Now that wasn't so hard, was it?" he says, and Kris almost chokes on his tongue. "I can't say I fully understand, but you'll always be my son and I'll support you no matter what you do."

Kris's eyes feels suspiciously wet and he bites down on his lower lip. "I love you dad," he whispers, voice rough, and finds himself pulled out of the chair and manhandled into a tight hug.

"I love you too, son," Neil says. "I really, really do."

Kris buries his face against his dad's neck and hugs back hard. He didn't realize how much his dad's approval would mean to him and now that he has it, it feels as if a great weight has been lifted from his shoulders. He knows Neil wasn't happy about the way his accident changed the course of Kris's life and maybe this is his way of giving back. He can't go back in time and change the events of that fateful night over a year ago, but he can give Kris this, an opportunity to turn onto a new road without the guilt of having his father's disapproval hanging over his head. Whatever his reasons are, Kris is grateful.

*

  
Adam wasn't lying about not being able to figure out time zones. After the first couple of times he wakes Kris up in the middle of the night, Kris gives him his own ringtone and the sound of phone no longer gives him a heart attack. They have the most random conversations and Kris starts looking forward to his wake up calls even if they leave him sleep-deprived. They talk about everything and nothing, sometimes about the wedding, but mostly just about life.

They do however manage to set a date in mid-August and with some help from Jade, his mom and Katy, Kris manages to decide on an invitation design without freaking out too much about what Adam will think. Adam says that he trusts Kris to make the decision and Jade has a complete list of everyone to be invited, but Kris still freaks out a little. The fact that Adam trusts him with it just makes it worse somehow. Adam laughs when Kris tells him about it, but Kris can tell that it's a pleased laugh. He's got a pretty extensive catalogue of Adam's different laughs by now.

Three days into Adam's trip the first package arrives via FedEx, and Kris thinks it's something that has to do with the wedding, but it's not. It's a light blue t-shirt with _My Boyfriend Went To London And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt_ printed across the chest. It surprises a laugh out of him and he can't stop smiling for the rest of the day, wearing it around the house. The next one arrives a couple of days after that, boasting the same message but this time it's an odd shade of green, and from Berlin.

Before the two weeks are up Kris has four more t-shirts with the same message from Madrid, Stockholm, Paris and Oslo. They're in different colors too, ranging from black to a really obnoxious yellow. It takes almost a week before Kris can wear them without blushing every time someone comments, but he considers it his coming out and despite the few snide looks he gets around the winery, most people are actually nice about it.

Adam gets kind of quiet when Kris tells him about it and says that he didn't have to do that, which is just stupid. It's going to be all over the tabloids as soon as the news leak and Kris actually prefers to give the people he's known his entire life _some_ warning before they catch it on the news.

All in all it's probably the weirdest two weeks of Kris's life, even more overwhelming than his time on Idol and the excruciating disappointment when he had to leave. There's just so much going on all the time with the winery, the wedding, and the never-ending process of coming out to everyone he knows. It's weird and dizziness-inducing and whenever he tries to just stop and breathe Adam calls, or there's some emergency that needs his attention.

When Adam finally comes home, Kris is so sleep-deprived he's nauseous with it and more than ready to hand over the wedding planning to someone that actually _cares_ about what colors the bridesmaids wear. When Adam shows up he doesn't even stop to think, he just walks right into him, making Adam stagger backwards with his weight.

"Hey," Adam says, wrapping his arms around Kris's back. "Are you okay?"

"I just don't care if they wear green or blue," Kris whines into Adam's neck. "I really don't."

"We're going with blue," Adam says firmly and something in Kris's chest unwinds, making him feel like he can breathe properly for the first time in a week.

"Thank you," he murmurs, inhaling deeply. Adam smells nice - Kris didn't even know he knew what Adam smelled like, but he smells like leather, skin, sun and Dior Homme and Kris has missed it.

Adam chuckles and pats Kris's back. "Sometimes you're such a guy," he says.

Kris snorts and tilts his head back to look up at Adam. "Would you rather have me be a girl?"

Adam shakes his head with a smile curling his lips.

"Yeah, thought so," Kris says, smiling against Adam's mouth when Adam bends down to kiss him.

They're interrupted by Jade who shouts at them to come inside and help out. Kris is not sure how it happened but Jade has more or less moved in, setting up camp in the rarely used dining room, and now everyone is involved in the planning. He was grateful for the support in the beginning but after two weeks of every woman he's ever known nagging him about making decisions – not so much.

Adam makes all the difference though, and within an hour they suddenly have a color _and_ a design for the bridesmaid dresses, a complete list of bridesmaids, a date for them to have their measurements taken and about three hundred other tiny, but apparently important, details ironed out. Kris's input mostly consists in serving everyone coffee and holding Adam's hand. He feels that's more fitting to his skills when it comes to wedding planning and Adam's hands are really nice.

Sometime during Adam's absence Kris had decided to stop thinking so much and just go with the flow. Analyzing every little thing only gave him a headache, and he was tired of headaches. Now, sitting here in his dining room with Adam's fingers entwined with his, Kris not only doesn't have a headache, he feels comfortable. It's really easy to imagine that this is the conclusion of a much longer courtship.

Adam stays for dinner again and by the time Kris follows him out to his car he's so beyond tired he hangs on Adam's arm to even keep upright. Jade had left about an hour ago, promising to come back early tomorrow morning, and Kris is of half a mind to ask Adam to stay. He probably would if the thought of being alone with Adam in his room didn't scare him nearly to death.

"What are the plans for tomorrow?" Adam asks, pulling Kris in with his free arm until Kris crashes into his chest.

"I have a meeting with the bank," Kris murmurs into the soft cotton of Adam's shirt. "And I guess we'll be doing some more planning?"

"I'll come with you," Adam says, running a hand down Kris's back letting it come to rest just above the swell of Kris's ass. "To the bank, I mean."

Kris wants to protest, but to be honest he's pretty sure Adam's presence will make his meeting with the bank go much smoother. He lets his eyes slip shut, resting his cheek against Adam's shoulder. He doesn't want to think about the bank, or the part of this wedding deal that entails saving the winery. It makes him feel cheap, as if his 'yes' doesn't mean anything when he's coming to realize that it probably means _everything_.

"I set up a meeting with my PR for tomorrow afternoon," Adam says, worming his fingers in under the edge of Kris's t-shirt to touch skin. "We need to start talking about how to handle the press, and I want you to meet my handler."

"Okay," Kris murmurs, even if the mere thought makes his stomach drop.

"And I was thinking maybe you could stay with me for a couple of days? There's a lot of people I want you to meet, you know, friends and family."

Kris hums in agreement. Adam's fingers are painting circles against his skin and Kris would pretty much agree to anything right now just to have Adam stay right where he is. Adam sighs, pulling Kris closer.

"I should go," he says.

Kris makes a sound of protest, tightening his hold on Adam's waist. "I missed you," he whispers, even if admitting it out loud makes his cheeks burn.

"Yeah?" Adam asks, sliding one of his hands up to tangle in Kris's hair, forcing him to look up. "I missed you too."

Kris is pretty sure neither of them makes a conscious effort to initiate the kiss, they just fall into it. He doesn't know how long they stay like that mouths sliding slick against each other and tongues tangling, but when he finally pulls back to suck in a breath, his pulse is whooshing in his ears and he's hard in his jeans.

He can't really see Adam's eyes in the dark, the lights outside the front door don't reach across the yard and Kris forgot to turn on the lights by the parking lot, but he can see the slick glitter of Adam's lips curling into a smile that makes his breath catch in his throat.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Adam says, touching a hand to Kris's face. "Okay?"

"Yeah," Kris breathes. "Okay."

Letting Adam go is much harder than it should be, and he makes Adam promise that he'll text when he's home. The thought of Adam driving back to LA alone makes him nervous, but Adam doesn't ask to stay and Kris is too scared to offer. It's not until he's curled up in bed with the confirmation on his phone screen that Adam got home safely that he realizes he's agreed to stay with Adam for a couple of days. The thought makes his heart trip all over itself and he falls asleep somewhere between being scared witless and elated.  


*

  
The meeting with the bank goes very well. Once Kris has introduced Adam as his fiancé they pretty much fall over each other to accommodate him, and he walks out with Adam's hand in his and a new spring to his step. Adam didn't even have to say anything, his presence and the effortless air of luxury around him was enough to light the dollar signs in their eyes. People may think whatever they want about Adam, his music, and his sexuality, but Kris doesn't think anyone doubts that he's making money.

They go back to the winery for lunch and to hash out some details for the wedding with Jade, and then they're off in Adam's car heading towards LA. By the time they get there Kris is a bundle of nerves and no amount of reassurance from Adam helps. He spends most of the meeting with Adam's management feeling dizzy and breathless, and sadly he doesn't think the meeting itself accounts for much of it. He can't stop thinking that once they're done, they will be going back to Adam's place and they will be alone.

He likes Adam's handler, Lane, and he's pretty sure the feeling is mutual with the motherly way she smiles at him. As expected there are a few arguments, mostly based on Adam's stubborn refusal to let the press cover the wedding, but eventually they reach a compromise where they will release pictures of the ceremony after it happens. Kris's input is limited to humming along with whatever Adam says, but he's pretty sure no one cares what he thinks anyway. To Adam's management Kris is no more than a pawn to be moved across the board, even if they do seem pleased that Adam picked someone as normal as Kris.

"That went well, don't you think?" Adam says in the car afterwards, cracking his knuckles.

"Yeah," Kris answers distractedly, trying to hide his shiver when Adam revs the engine.

Adam goes off on a tangent about how they're going to handle the press, explaining it to Kris in excruciating detail. Kris is quite happy to let the flow of words wash over him while he frets about what happens next. He wonders if he should tell Adam he's never had sex. He's pretty sure Adam's figured out he's never slept with a guy, but he probably thinks Kris did it with Katy, which he didn't, because they were going to wait and then they broke up.

"You seem distracted," Adam says, patting Kris's knee as he turns the car up towards the Hollywood Hills. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Kris says, managing a wry smile. "Just a bit overwhelmed again."

"It takes some getting used to," Adam admits. "The whole treating your life as an on-going soap opera." Adam makes a vague gesture that Kris can't interpret. "It's like… I'm just one guy living my life, you know, but suddenly I have like a script and a director and the roles are filling up with people I don't even know. It's weird."

Kris frowns. There's a hint of something he can't figure out in Adam's voice, sadness maybe, or wistfulness.

"And who am I in this on-going tale of yours?" he asks, even if he suddenly doesn't know if he wants to hear the answer.

Adam flashes him a smile. "You're the unassuming Prince Charming that everyone roots for while the hero is off sleeping his way through Hollywood and that eventually gets the happily-ever-after with a sugar-sweet sappy scene that makes everyone cry."

Kris laughs, because Adam expects him to, but somewhere deep inside it stings. He's no one in Adam's life. Maybe he was someone at some point, but Kris's fifteen minutes of fame ended a year ago and it doesn't matter that he's about to get more exposure than he could ever have dreamed about because when it comes down to it, he really is just the unassuming guy cast to make Adam's life a fairytale. Suddenly he wonders how many meetings Adam sat through with his management before they decided to give the role to Kris. Who were the other players? Ex-boyfriends? Friends? Someone off the street that has about the same importance to Adam as Kris has?

He carefully masks his sudden discomfort and looks out the car window at the streets rushing by. "It'll be like the greatest love story never told," he says and Adam laughs even though it isn't even funny. For the first time since he said yes, Kris starts to regret his decision.

*

  
Kris's time in LA turns out to be nothing like he expected. Adam doesn't try to jump him even once and he carefully makes sure they're surrounded by people almost 24/7, going as far as having his brother stay with them at the house. Adam's family is lovely, and they make him feel extremely welcome, but Kris can't shake the feeling that something is off. Everyone is too careful with him, treating him as if he's some hick from the country being accepted into the noble circle for the first time.

He can't tell if it's just nerves on his part but he arrives back home feeling unsettled and depressed. Adam goes out of town again and Kris adds another three "My Boyfriend Went To" t-shirts in another three colors and a really pretty necklace with a dangling silver guitar to his collection, but it doesn't feel the same. They still talk and their conversations are just as random and heartfelt as the last time, but Kris can't shake the feeling that Adam is pushing him away instead of pulling him closer.

The news breaks, as expected, three weeks before the wedding and suddenly Kris has paps following him everywhere he goes, shouting offensive questions and snapping candid pictures. They're not allowed on the winery grounds and Kris opts to stay home more and more even if he's almost climbing the walls with frustration. Everyone notices his increasingly short temper and the worried looks they throw in his direction just add to his frustration.

In the span of a week everyone he knows sits him down for a talk about following his heart and not doing something he will regret. No one says outright that they think he should back out of the wedding, but the sentiment is pretty clear. Even his mother seems to have second thoughts and for some reason that makes Kris feel even worse.

Jade and Lane become the new staples of Kris's life and somehow hanging out with them makes him feel better, because they're pretty much the only ones that don't try to make him backtrack. Instead they are pretty determinedly pushing him forward, getting him fitted for a suit, helping him write a statement for the press and supporting him when it comes to making a decision about the rings. Adam narrowed it down to three different designs and he leaves it up to Kris to decide which one they'll wear while he jets off to New York and San Francisco for a succession of shows.

Kris misses him when he's gone and he kind of hates himself for it. There shouldn't be such a thing as feeling too involved with his future husband, but that's exactly what it feels like. Adam's handling the whole thing like it's really just a business transaction, while Kris is becoming more and more aware that he's actually putting his heart on the line. He misses Adam's smell, his kisses and the solid feel of Adam's chest under his cheek, and it's that, more than any other doubts he might have that makes him consider calling the whole thing off.

He doesn't though, he just pushes forward, ignoring the press tearing his relationship to Katy to shreds, ignoring the insinuations that he's a cheater, ignoring all the helpful advice thrown his way, until he's operating on fumes, exhausted beyond measure. Even Jade and Lane start giving him worried looks by the time the tents are being set up under the oak trees and the caterer starts puttering about the house, setting up for the wedding that is only days away.

Adam becomes increasingly short with him and suddenly the tabloids are full of pictures of Adam entering and exiting clubs late at night, looking drunk and unhappy with someone new hanging off his arm every night. Kris stops reading them because it hurts too much and he wonders why he's letting Adam trample all over him.

Three days before the wedding Kris breaks his exile to pick up Cale and Charles at the airport and the tabloids explode with pictures of Kris and Cale hugging. Adam calls from wherever he is at the moment (Kris didn't even look at the last t-shirt) to give Kris an earful and the whole thing turns into an argument that ends with Kris throwing his phone at the wall.

The next day Adam calls off the wedding and Kris finally breaks. He feels as if he's so deeply under water that he can't even breathe and he refuses to talk to anyone, laying prostate on his bed staring up at the ceiling. Through Lane, Adam assures Kris that he's still going to help save the winery and Kris hates himself for it, but he doesn't even care. He feels as if his heart's been ripped out of his chest and right now losing the winery doesn't even register on his personal heartbreak scale. Somewhere in this gigantic clusterfuck of a wedding Kris fell in love with Adam and now he won't ever get to tell him.

He can hear people moving about the house, the sound of their voices muted, as if they're trying not to disturb him. He imagines Jade's collecting all of her files from the dining room, throwing them into the back of her green VW Beetle and driving away for what will be the last time. The thought reverberates through his chest with a pang - somehow Jade and her quirky sense of humor have become synonymous with the wedding in his mind, and no more Jade truly means no more wedding.

He wants to call Adam, reason with him, but Adam's voice when he dropped the news was so impassionate, as if he didn't even care, and Kris just can't bring himself to hear that again. If this wedding, if Kris, really means that little to Adam, begging won't make the slightest difference. He thinks about getting up, but that would mean facing everyone, reading the pity on their faces, and he just can't do it. He wonders if the news has broken yet, if the entire world is feasting on his heartbreak and the very thought makes him feel as if he might be sick.

Squeezing his eyes shut he rolls over on his side, pulling his legs up to his chest. He thinks about times past, about Adam and Idol. He remembers hugging Adam goodbye before leaving the mansion, he remembers making their shoes kiss and how he had thought that maybe Adam meant more to him than he should. For the first time he lets the floodgates to the past open fully and in the maelstrom of memories that pours out only one thing really stands out to him - he fell in love with Adam way before he should have.

*

  
Kris doesn't leave his room until the middle of the night, sneaking into the kitchen to force down a dry piece of toast before grabbing a bottle of scotch and heading out to the vineyard. The tents are still erected and lines of chairs face an arch of white timber that won't ever be used. In Jade's sketches of the set, the arch is twined with leaves and flowers, and Kris supposes he'll never know what that looks like in real life.

His limbs feel heavy as he walks up the aisle with the bottle of scotch dangling from his fingers, legs not quite taking his direction. Then they stop working all together because Adam steps out through the arch. Adam looks wrecked, pale and hollowed out, in jeans that were probably once skinny but now hang off his hips, and a too-small bright blue t-shirt that boasts _My Boyfriend Went To NYC And All I Got Was This Lousy T-shirt_.

"Nice shirt," Kris whispers, licking his lips.

"I bought it for my fiancé, but I'm a dumbass and broke up with him," Adam answers.

Kris laughs, ignoring the hysteric edge to it and starts walking again. "What a coincidence," he says, twisting the cap of the whiskey bottle. "My fiancé dumped me just two days before our wedding. He's kind of a dumbass too."

Kris takes a swig from the bottle as he walks the last few steps up to the arch, holding it out for Adam. Adam slips it from his fingers and takes a healthy swig, grimacing as it goes down.

"So why do you think your fiancé dumped you?" he asks.

Kris shrugs, sliding down to sit with his back to one of the pillars that support the arch. It wobbles slightly with his weight, but the pressure evens out when Adam slides down to sit across from him.

"He's an idiot," Kris finally says.

"Yeah," Adam says wryly. "He really is."

"Why do you think my fiancé broke up with me?" he asks, taking another mouthful of whiskey.

Adam reaches for the bottle and drinks before answering. "He freaked out," he says, turning his head to look down the aisle.

"Why?" Kris asks softly, sliding his fingers over Adam's as he grabs the bottle. The whiskey settles heavy and warm in his stomach and he can feel his face heating up with the alcohol.

Adam sighs, looking back at Kris. "I lied to you," he says. He chuckles completely without mirth and stretches his legs out to the side of Kris. "I don't need to get married to save my fucking record contract; I don't need to get married at all."

"So why this?" Kris asks, throwing his hand out in a wide gesture. "Why this elaborate charade if you were just planning on dumping me all along? What did I ever do to hurt you?"

"Fuck," Adam says, scrubbing a hand over his face. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck."

He slams his head back against the pillar, making the entire construction wobble precariously.

"I didn't do it to hurt you," he says. "I wasn't planning on dumping you at all, but I just couldn't go through with it, knowing it was all just a clever set up."

"A set up? A set up for what?" Kris almost shouts, because he just wants to understand.

"For you to fall in love with me," Adam shouts back and in the deafening silence after his words they just stare at each other.

Kris's head spins and his heart races and he doesn't think he can blame it on the alcohol, not even a little bit.

"You… What? Why?"

"Shit," Adam says, grabbing the bottle again and taking a few long pulls. He wipes the back of his hand over his mouth and snorts. "You really have no idea, do you?"

Kris shakes his head, because he's pretty sure he's never been so confused in his life.

"You're perfect for me," Adam says, flailing a little. "Just look at you… you're… _amazing_."

"You could have just asked me out on a date," Kris says weakly, stealing the bottle back from Adam.

"Would you have said yes?" Adam asks, looking as if the thought had never even occurred to him.

"I don't know," Kris says. "Probably, yeah. I said yes when you fucking proposed didn't I?"

"To save the winery," Adam retorts.

"No," Kris admits, looking down at his sneakers. "Because I wanted to. I know you… If I'd turned you down and asked for the money, you would have given it to me, but I still said yes because…"

"Why?" Adam asks, scrambling up on his hands and knees, crawling closer.

"Because you're kind of perfect for me," Kris finishes weakly. "Maybe I wanted to be the unassuming Prince Charming in your personal soap opera."

He finally looks up to find Adam staring at him from just inches away, eyes huge and shiny. Kris remembers again, every time they hugged, every time they kissed, every late night conversation they ever had, every inane text message Adam sent him while Kris was keeping vigil in the hospital waiting to know if his dad would survive, every laugh they ever shared. He remembers and he _wants_ more than he's ever wanted anything in his entire life.

"Kristopher Neil Allen," Adam murmurs, voice shaky and uncertain. "Will you marry me?"

Kris feels light headed and his heart stutters in his chest. He looks deeply into Adam's eyes and sees nothing there but Adam. He should say no, because they're doing this all backwards, but maybe that's the way they have to be. Maybe that's the only way they _can_ be. Adam's face is just beginning to fall when Kris finally finds his voice.

"Yes," he answers, exhilarated and scared witless, pushing himself up and closer. "Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes."

Adam shuts him up with a kiss and then another one and another until they topple over sideways landing on the ground in a laughing tangle. Kris still doesn't fully understand and he hasn't quite forgiven Adam for breaking his heart, but he figures they have the rest of their lives to figure it out.

"Fuck," Adam says, sobering slightly. "We have to tell Jade before she cancels everything."

Kris blinks, reaching up to touch Adam's cheek. "If she did, I guess we'll just have to elope," he murmurs and Adam kisses him again, and again, and again, until Kris sees black spots dancing before his eyes. He can't remember right now why he was so scared of being alone with Adam, because Adam's weight on top of him, pressing him into the ground, feels just right, and when Adam shifts, rubbing up against him, his breath gets stuck in his throat and he arches up without meaning to.

"Fuck," Adam murmurs, mouthing kisses all over Kris's face. "Fuck… you're so… I love you."

Kris laughs, breathless and delighted. "I love you, too," he answers, arching up to claim another kiss from Adam's lips. "I love you, too."

Adam slides his hand in under Kris's t-shirt, raking his fingers up Kris's chest and Kris lets out a startled moan, heart banging hard against his ribcage. Of course that's when someone turns on the lights, flooding the space underneath the arch with sudden brightness.

"Oops," Adam says, sounding way too cheerful, and he grins so widely his jaw seems unhinged. "Busted."

Adam's make up is a mess, eyeliner smeared around his eyes and foundation flaking off his face. Yet Kris thinks he's never been more beautiful, never been more perfect.

"Kris? Are you… Oh."

Kris's mom looks very imposing from Kris's perspective and he's pretty sure his blush extends to his knees.

"Hi mom," he says, winding his fingers in the back of Adam's shirt to keep him in place when Adam makes a move to get up. He does not want to give his mom an eyeful of his erection even if her presence is making it wilt at an alarming speed. He's pretty sure Adam can feel it too, because he laughs suddenly giving Kris a mischievous look.

"I hate you," Kris says solemnly, finally letting Adam up so that he can sit up himself, dusting his clothes off ineffectually.

"No you don't," Adam answers smugly.

Kris realizes when he staggers to his feet to face his mother's amused smile that maybe he's drunk a little more than he should have considering he's only eaten a dry piece of toast all day, and on cue his stomach rumbles. Kim chuckles and shakes her head.

"Why don't you come inside and I'll make you something to eat," she says, looking from one to the other.

"That would be amazing Mrs. Allen," Adam says politely, reaching out for Kris's hand.

Kris grabs it and holds on tight, and even if he wanted to he doesn't think he could stop smiling.

"I take it the wedding is back on," Kim says dryly as she walks before them towards the house.

"Yeah," Kris says, moving closer to Adam. "It is."

"I suppose it's a good thing I told Jade to not cancel anything then," she says blithely, turning around to wink at them when they both stop dead in their tracks. "What?" she asks innocently. "I'm a mother. I know things."

Adam lets out a startled laugh and Kris's smile gets even wider. "I love you, mom," he says.

"Of course you do, honey," she responds. "Of course you do."

*

  
Afterwards Kris can't remember much of the two days leading up to the ceremony. He vaguely recalls there being a bachelor party, where he might have sung karaoke until his voice gave out in between bouts of texting with Adam. For convenience sake (that is, the friends they share from Idol) Adam's and Kris's bachelor parties were both held at the Mondrian at the same time, just in different locales, and the people spilling back and forth (which ended up being everyone if the photos of Kris and Tommy dancing on a table is anything to judge by) were more than happy to bring news about what the other was doing (this is how Kris knows about the strippers because Adam did so not tell him about the strippers).

By the end of the night Kris was wearing Adam's jacket, two of his rings, a boa and eyeliner, while Adam got away with Kris's plaid shirt, one of his bracelets and for some reason his belt. The party-goers were more than happy to oblige in this little game of Turn Each Groom Into The Other, as they took things from room to room, and groom to groom. Cale assures Kris it was the best party ever and Kris supposes he would know since the bastard spent most of the night hanging with Adam's people, only occasionally returning to Kris to share some interesting tidbit of information, or to steal another of Kris's friends.

Most of the time though Kris just feels as if he's floating on top of it all, elated, scared and so in love he doesn't know how to think straight. He spends his time glommed to Adam's side, unwilling to let him out of his sight for long enough to even go to the bathroom. Adam seems to feel the same way and the third time Kris is found waiting for Adam in the hallway outside the bathroom door and is shamed into leaving, Adam nearly throws a hissy fit before he finds Kris again, hugging him hard and desperate as if they were parted for days instead of mere minutes.

Kris is sure they're bringing amusement to the entire household and Lee, the wedding photographer who is also covering the last minute preparations (probably for some kind of photo spread Kris can't remember ), snaps so many pictures that he starts complaining about hard drive space halfway through the first day. It's eerie, like something out of a fairy tale, and for two whole days Kris can't stop smiling.

*

  
Kris wakes up way too early the day of the wedding, before the sun has even made its way over the treetops, but he's instantly wide awake in a way that means more sleep is not on the program. He looks over the edge of the bed at Adam, who's sleeping on a mattress on the floor. The sight of him makes Kris smile and he folds his hands under his chin, settling in for a moment of creepy staring. Sleeping on the floor was Adam's idea - they couldn't bear to be parted even just overnight, but Adam's very adamant about waiting until the wedding night and apparently he doesn't trust himself around Kris.

Kris thinks it's sweet. He didn't have Adam figured for the kind of guy that cares about that sort of thing, which makes him think Adam's doing it because he thinks Kris is that kind of guy and that just makes him feel all gooey inside. He used to be that kind of guy once, or maybe he liked to fool himself into thinking he was, so that he wouldn't have to think too hard about the fact that he was just not that interested in having sex with his fiancée. He doesn't think he's that kind of guy any more, the thought of having sex with Adam is still huge and scary, but it also fills him with a kind of longing want that Kris supposes other, more worldly, people might call being horny.

Adam sleeps on his back, limbs sprawled out spilling over the edge of the mattress, and the covers have slid down to reveal the sleek curve of his stomach and a tantalizing strip of skin where his t-shirt has ridden up. Kris thinks about sliding off the bed and snuggling up close, slipping his fingers over that bare piece of skin. The thought is enough have him half hard and he flushes, happy that Adam's asleep and unable to read his mind, because he would be appalled at the lameness of Kris's sexual fantasies.

Adam looks tired, even in his sleep, and Kris has a feeling they'll both be way beyond tired before they can finally relax again in a beach house on the other side of the world. He can't resist dangling a hand over the edge of the bed to push Adam's bangs away from his face. His hair is getting long, he has an appointment to have it cut in a few hours and Kris has fielded a million and one questions about his Adam hair preferences in the last twenty-four hours. He's not sure he actually has a preference, it's just hair, but it's important to Adam so he's been doing his best to come up with truthful opinions.

There's a hairdresser coming for Kris as well, he's been letting his hair grow wild and ragged in the last few months and apparently you can't get married looking like that. When he asked Adam for an opinion, Adam supplied him with a picture. Adam really is a lot more helpful when it comes to these things than Kris.

"What are you doing up?" Adam murmurs without opening his eyes, turning his head into Kris's hand.

"Couldn't sleep," Kris answers, feeling a bit silly for having been caught in the act of appreciating.

Adam blinks his eyes open, smiling softly. "Nervous?"

Kris shrugs. "Not yet, I don't think."

Adam scoots over, clearing a space next to him. "Come here," he says, patting the mattress beside him. "It's way too early to be up."

Kris is more than happy to oblige, curling up with his head on Adam's chest. His fingers find the slip of skin he was looking at earlier and he hums with contentment, letting his eyes slide shut.

"I love you," Adam murmurs, already half asleep, and Kris hums again trying to convey that he agrees.

Adam's chest is solid under his cheek and Adam smells like all the good things in the world. He falls back to sleep between one heartbeat and the next, despite the fact that he was wide awake just minutes ago, hand still open over Adam's skin.

*

  
Ten minutes before the wedding Kris is very grateful for his early morning snuggle time with Adam because he's hardly seen him since and he is freaking out all over the place. He's at the point where he thinks he needs a date with a quiet dark room and a paper bag, but there's just not enough time for him to have a panic attack.

"Hold still," Jade growls when Kris starts fidgeting for the millionth time and he freezes letting her finish the task of pinning a flower just right to his lapel.

His suit is black, shiny and really damned tight. Coupled with the skinny black tie it makes him feel as if he can't breathe.

"There you go," Jade finally says and Kris fidgets a little just because he can. "You're looking good."

Kris sucks in a harsh breath glancing at himself in the mirror. He looks as if he's just about to get married and that's enough to send him into another fit of nervous fidgeting. What if Adam changed his mind again? What if he won't be there in five minutes when Kris walks out of this room?

"Are you all set?" Cale asks, sticking his head into the room. He catches sight of Kris and does a double take, whistling between his teeth. "Man, you look like hot stuff."

Kris fidgets some more, rubbing his fingers over the slick black nail polish on his right thumb. Adam painted it this morning saying he wanted Kris to carry a little piece of Adam with him. Kris thought it was unbearably cute at the time, now it's the only thing keeping him sane.

"C'mon then," Cale says, and Jade gives Kris's shoulder one last squeeze that ends with a little push in the right direction.

Kris sucks in a breath and follows after Cale, mind racing and heart pumping. In an hour he'll be a married man. Cale leaves Kris just inside the patio doors and Kris spends half a minute trying to breathe through a panic attack, then Brad leads Adam into the room to stand next to him and just like that Kris can breathe again, reaching out blindly for Adam's hand. Adam grabs it and holds it tight while they wait for their cue.

"You sure?" Adam asks when the first strands of their wedding song ring out from the makeshift chapel.

"Yes," Kris answers, squeezing Adam's fingers.

"Thank God," Adam mutters, making Kris smile and glance at him for the first time.

Adam looks amazing. His hair is shorter, framing his face with streaks of blue and green and standing at attention over the top of his head, spiky and tinted with just a touch of glitter. Kris didn't know that was what he wanted, but judging by the sudden tendril of want going through his loins, Adam made the right choice about his hair.

"Move," Jade says, coming up behind them. "You're about to miss your cue."

Adam laughs, winking at Kris, and together they start the trek towards the wedding party and the white arch. Kris's heart picks up speed and his hand gets sweaty and gross where it's holding onto Adam's, but Adam doesn't seem to mind, pacing himself to keep in time with Kris. Cameras start flashing, almost blinding them, when they turn up the aisle, but Adam keeps them moving, used to the sudden flashes of bright light by now, and this isn't strangers hoping for a story, this is friends and family watching the beginning of an all-new soap opera - one where the hero is unassuming, but marries a rockstar anyway.

He looks up at Allison, absolutely magnificent in her dark blue bridesmaid dress, and notices the way her eyes shine while she sings. He squeezes Adam's fingers and bumps their shoulders together. This is it.

They reach the arch just in time for the last clinging note of the song to ring out and in the silence that follows Kris can hear someone blow their nose. Kris lets himself take it all in, Cale, Brad, Daniel and Neil standing off to one side looking dapper in their grey suits and Allison, Katy, Alisan, and Danielle lined up on the other, the flowing lines of their matching dresses reminding him of the ocean. In the middle stands the judge, somber but smiling in his dark robes and when he finally starts talking, Kris blanks out.

He knows that at same point he must have sad his vows, because his throat feels parched as if he's been talking forever, and he remembers Adam saying his with tears shining in his eyes and a quiver in his voice. Both their hands tremble when they exchange rings and the kiss feels like finally coming home. He remembers laughing delighted and loud when people started showering them with glitter and he remembers Adam pulling him in and kissing his mouth making everyone laugh with them.

He remembers the party in disjointed snatches. Matt, Allison, Anoop and Megan up on the stage singing, friends from a past life that's no longer in the past but only just beginning. Dancing with Adam, and his mom, everyone else in the entire party, and then Adam again, slower and closer, holding on tight. He remembers cutting the cake, his fingers tangled with Adam's but he can't for the life of him recall what it tasted like (which means the two days it took to make a decision about it were completely wasted).

It feels almost as if he's floating on top of it all, watching it from afar and reality doesn't set in again until they're stuffed into the back of a limo heading for the airport and the house they rented in Greece.

"You know what," Adam murmurs, pressing Kris into the seat and moving to rest on top of him. "We really should have planned this better."

Kris chuckles weakly, digging his fingers into Adam's back. "I don't think I'm ever going to recover from the amount of planning that went into this thing."

Adam mouths a line of kisses down Kris's neck, making Kris arch up against him. "But we'll be spending our wedding night on a plane," Adam whines, carefully opening the tiny buttons of Kris's shirt and pushing it open. Kris's tie nearly strangles him before Adam manages to get it off, making him laugh breathlessly.

"About that," Kris breathes, pressing a kiss against Adam's ear. "I'm a virgin."

Adam sits up so suddenly he knocks his head against the ceiling. "You're _kidding_ me," he says, voice reaching a higher pitch than Kris thought even Adam was capable of. "That's it. We're taking a later flight."

"Don't be ridiculous," Kris says, shrugging out of the suit jacket and the shirt, carefully putting his sparkling cufflinks to the side. "We're not cancelling our flights to have sex."

He moves his hands to work on the belt that he really didn't need considering the indecently tight fit of his suit pants, pulling it open before wriggling out of the pants. Adam zeros in on his black boxer briefs and groans, deep in his throat.

"You've got to be kidding me," he says, burying his head in his hands.

Kris looks down on himself and the shameless tenting of said boxers, but he hardly thinks it was the erection that got to Adam. It was probably the careful embroidery around the elastic that says _Property of Adam Lambert-Allen_. They were a wedding gift from Cale and the look in Adam's eyes when he peeks out between his fingers makes it worth the slight embarrassment of actually wearing them.

"That's it," Adam says, voice low and feral. "We're having sex right here."

Kris doesn't get the time to protest before Adam is upon him, tongue in Kris's mouth and one hand palming Kris's erection in a way that's probably illegal in several states. He barely has time to gurgle his appreciation before Adam's on the floor manhandling Kris's legs up on his shoulders. Adam looks up with a wicked smile, as he carefully peels the boxers down to rest below Kris's balls.

"All things considered," he says blithely. "I don't think this will take very long."

It doesn't. Kris barely has time to register hot, wet, tight, _oh my fucking god, please, god, Adaaaam_ before he's coming down Adam's throat. He blushes down to his navel, flails around with his arms and tries to remember how to breathe, while Adam sits back on his haunches and smacks his lips, looking entirely too pleased with himself.

Kris pours himself down from the seat landing squarely in Adam's lap and winds his arms around the back of Adam's neck, pulling him in for a kiss. Adam tastes like him and it's enough to send a shiver down his spine. Maybe Adam's ridiculous idea has some merit after all.

"Fuck," Adam groans, working a hand in between. "Baby, I got to… Oh yeah…"

Kris pulls away enough to rest his forehead against Adam's, looking down between them where Adam's pulling his rock hard cock out of his suit pants. It's huge and Kris starts to feel faint, reaching down quickly to pull his boxers up so it won't be as easy to compare. He's been around Adam long enough to know what he prefers (really they covered that during their first ever conversation) and the thought of that thing going _there_ is enough to make him see black spots dancing before his eyes.

"Oh hey," Adam says. "Kris… baby… what are you… Oh… oh."

Adam eases him down on the floor gently, sliding on top of him again to give him another kiss.

"I would never hurt you," he murmurs, mouth whisper soft against Kris's. "Never."

"I trust you," Kris says bravely, pulling his legs up to accommodate Adam's bulk.

"Oh," Adam says again, pressing his lips to Kris's ear. "We're not doing that here, sweetie. We'll work up to it, okay? I'll make you feel so good."

"But I want it to be good for you, too," Kris protests, sliding one of his hands in between them to touch.

Adam shudders. "Oh fuck," he moans. "Believe me… it will be."

Kris knows how to do this, at least. The angle is weird, and Adam's bigger than him, but he doesn't think it matters with the way Adam's pants into his skin, tiny breathless little moans escaping his full lips.

"Yeah," he groans. "Oh God… Yeah… That's it. You're so good baby… You're so perfect… I'm gonna…"

It's almost a surprise when Adam comes, his semen painting Kris's stomach with stripes of white, and Kris shudders with him, claiming Adam's mouth in a breathless kiss. Adam carefully keeps his weight off Kris's body, probably trying to save the suit, and Kris kind of misses being pressed into the floor. Adam lifts his head to look out the window and chuckles.

"We have about five minutes to get ready," he says, giving Kris another kiss.

"Okay," Kris says, feeling cold all of a sudden when Adam sits back on his haunches.

He looks down on the mess of his chest and then up at Adam again. Adam's busy struggling out of his suit so he quickly dips a finger into Adam's come and tastes it. Adam tastes like him, a little saltier maybe, and while it's not exactly tasty it's not bad either.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Kris, don't do that," Adam says and when Kris looks up, finger still in his mouth, Adam's staring at him.

Kris flushes and pulls his finger out of his mouth, acutely embarrassed all of a sudden. Maybe there's something in the gay sex etiquette book that says you don't taste people's come unless you're blowing them. Adam should have gotten him a copy to read on the flight.

"Sorry," he murmurs, averting his gaze carefully. It's been like five hours and he already sucks at being married.

"No," Adam says, grabbing his arm to pull him up and into a kiss, stealing his own taste out of Kris's mouth. "Not don't do that ever," he murmurs. "Just don't fucking do that now when I can't spread you out on a bed and make love to you for hours…" He pulls back to look at Kris. "Unless you changed your mind."

Kris laughs, blushing a little deeper if only because apparently he's a bit ridiculous. "I'm not sure I have the stamina for hours," he mutters, blushing even more since he doesn't even have the stamina for five minutes which Adam already proved.

"God, I love you," Adam responds.

Kris smiles a little wryly, scrubbing at the back of his neck. "Just you wait," he says darkly. "I bet the cute and bewildered act gets old really fast."

"Just get dressed, Kris." Adam pecks him on the lips and ruffles his hair. "Our five minutes are down to like thirty seconds and we don't really want to traumatize the driver, do we?"

Kris looks out the window to realize that they are indeed turning up towards the terminal and that finally gets him moving, snagging his travelling clothes out of the duffel bag while Adam produces baby wipes from somewhere that Kris uses to scrub the come off his chest. He manages to wriggle into his jeans and t-shirt with seconds to spare. Adam takes a little longer, futzing with his hair and making sure his boots are tied up just right.

"You look good," Kris assures him, slipping his feet into his sneakers and grabbing for his shoulder bag.

"You married me, you have to say that," Adam responds and Kris grins at him, rubbing his thumb over the platinum band on his ring finger.

"Yeah, I guess I really did."

The car stops outside the terminal and flashes start going off outside. They opted to not try to avoid the paparazzi at this point since it would just lead to a lot of unnecessary hassle.

Adam sucks in a deep breath and pockets his mirror. "You ready?" he asks, reaching out to take Kris's hand.

Kris looks through the tinted windows at the chaos outside. He can see people's mouths moving but the sound doesn't reach into the car.

"As ready as I'm ever going to be."

Adam reaches up and knocks on the window separating them from the driver and moments later the door opens to let in the flashes of cameras and the cacophony of noise outside. Kris follows Adam, still holding on tight to his hand, and puts on his best smile for the paparazzi. The shouts reach an almost deafening level, but he tunes them out following Adam's lead.

One question penetrates though and he turns his head to look at the reporter, giving her a blinding smile.

"Are you happy?" she repeats, sticking a mike in his face.

"Yes," Kris answers simply. "I really, really am."

The End


End file.
